Archives For January 2015

Adventure doesn’t need excessive money, time or planning. Adventure can be as simple as jumping in the car, or in Saturday’s case, hopping on a ferry.

FerryHopping

Saturday was a race cheering, hand holding, vegan feasting, ferry riding kind of day—one that took very little preparation and effort. And it all started with race cheering.

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Last week I found myself up against a creative wall, riding waves of self-doubt, and needing much more positive affirmation than usual. I caught myself asking Andrew for feedback countless times, and spent an equal amount of time picking up the phone to call my mom for her words of wisdom. Rather than an “I can” attitude, “Can I?” was a question that played on repeat in my head. I felt far more inadequate than I did renewed. 

The thing about opportunity finding its way onto your lap, is that no matter how wonderful it is, it often takes much more energy than we can possibly predict. For the entirety of last week, I spent the bulk of my waking hours glued to the computer screen, pouring my energy into new projects, on top of those already existing.

Despite my enthusiasm about the projects that have come my way lately, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated that this particular week was supposed to be a big running week for me. While struggling to focus on the work in front of me, I found myself daydreaming about the PR (personal record) I had hoped to achieve at the rapidly approaching New Orleans Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon, while feeling as though I was watching it drift out of reach.

In the evening hours, I had high hopes of switching gears to do “me” writing, some yoga, reading ,or maybe even finally unpacking from my holiday trip. Instead, I sat glued to the TV, watching episodes of “Cutthroat Kitchen.” My brain was all but mush.

Aside from an afternoon out and about on assignment, I rocked the same black on black attire the majority of the week, and barely left the house.

BlackonBlack

Something Andrew and I have discussed at length lately, is the fact that we human beings tend to only showcase the high points in our lives, not the ups, downs and everything in between. Intentionally or not, we show the parts of ourselves we are proud of and comfortable with, and much of the rest goes unseen.

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New Year, Renewed You

January 5, 2015 — 4 Comments

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While running along the St. Augustine bayfront yesterday afternoon, I took some time to reflect upon the changing of seasons, and the beginning of another year. I must say, I have a bit of a problem with the whole “New Year, New You” mentality. Whenever I see this phrase [over]used as a headline, I can’t help but sigh. I have to ask, what does it even mean? While I appreciate the encouragement to be a better version of myself than last year, I think holding ourselves to a good, better and best ranking system urges us to put unrealistic expectations on ourselves.

Although I will continue to strive to make positive changes, learn from my experiences, invite healing into my life, and let go of mental roadblocks holding me back, I’m not sure I will ever be the best version of myself. And I’m not sure I want to be either. After I’m the best me, then what? Sounds like even more self-induced pressure. 

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TentCamping1

As I carried a pile of sticks back over to our campsite in the dark Tuesday evening, I took a deep breath and looked over at Andrew who was building a fire, and then paused to look up to the sky with a sense of acknowledgement and reflection.

As I stared up into the night sky, I was reminded this is it. This is life and these are the moments I live for. I’m not living out any sort of dream. I’m living out the miracle that is the human experience—an up and down, sometimes sideways, tossed and turned, back and forth, brutal and beautiful experience. One that is anything but ordinary.

The last morning of 2014, I woke up in a tent freezing my buns off, happy to be alive. I woke up in a tent with everything I could ever need.

Truthfully, I want to live every single day of my life like I’m in a tent—finding the deepest level of comfort and satisfaction within my own soul, alongside the one I love, and amidst the most minimal of lifestyles. A “tent life” is one that might not appeal to everyone, but it’s one that feels most uncomfortably comfortable to me, and is one that makes me feel most alive.

Today marks not a clean slate, or a new start for a new Sarah, but rather the continuation of a life I’m thankful to be living. As I continue on my journey, I’m eager to greet the opportunities and challenges that await me. But more than anything, I hope to remember that it’s not about what I’m doing in this vast universe, but instead, how I’m living this life I’ve been graciously given.

My hope is that I may live more by having less, doing less and putting my all into the moments that make up each step of the journey. And when I get overwhelmed, might I take a step back and remember that all I really need in life can fit within the confines of a tent.